7 Things I've Learnt in 7 Years of Marriage

Well, here we are...we've made it to year #7 of marriage. In 7 years, we've: traveled to 8 countries, completed school, changed jobs, bought a house and had two babies. 

In celebration of my 7 year anniversary, to Jesse, here are 7 things I've learnt in 7 years of marriage:

1. We receive love in different ways. My "love language" is quality time. I love to just hang around with Jesse, watch TV, go out to eat, go shopping together or chat before we go to sleep. Jesse, on the other hand, loves when I do something special for him (ex. make his lunch for work).

2.  Pick your battles. Not every battle is worth fighting and not everything needs to be addressed in the same day. 

3. Fight the good fight. In 7 years, we've had many disagreements. It's a normal part of life to have disagreements. We're two people with different opinions, living life in close proximity - fights are going to happen. But I've learnt that our fights don't have to be full blown, yelling, slamming doors, pointing fingers, storming off, silent treatment, type of fights. There are ways to disagree without dishonouring the other person.

4. I can't look to my husband to find my self-worth. I have to be a whole person to meet with another person. Not two fractured people filling in the gaps for each other. 

5. It's ok to ask for help. I used to think that admitting to others that we are having a hard time working through something in our marriage was a sign of weakness, but I've come to realize it is actually a strength. 

6. We both recharge in different ways. Life gets crazy busy - especially with kids - sometimes, we just need to have time to ourselves to recharge. I find that I feel alive again when I spend time with friends or Jesse. Jesse on the other hand, needs to be alone. 

7. "Marriage is a work in progress and you have to work at it to make it progress."

If you're curious to see what we're really like in person, head over to my FB page and check out our live video: 7 Years Q & A (click here). I will warn you, it's live, which means anything could happen. 

4 Products for the Modern Baby

Things have changed a lot in the baby market since I was a kid. Gone are the days of the teddy and duck prints and everything primary coloured. These are the days of the modern baby. Yes, we {parents} still have baby items cluttered all over our homes - but now, they have style. But not only that, they're safer, softer, cleaner.

I recently had the opportunity of reviewing four items that are topping the {modern} baby lists. Each one different from the next, but all of them make my life as a mom a little easier and less worrisome. 

1. Dockatot

Dockatot is a multi-functional lounger, co-sleeper and play-time lounger. When Remi was smaller, we used the "Deluxe" size (0-8 months) for co-seeping and lounging around. It gave me peace of mind knowing that he could sleep next to me, without the fear of squishing him while we slept. Because it's made of all natural, 100% cotton, and is breathable - I could sleep better knowing he was completely safe in his little pod.

Now that Remi's older, we've graduated him to the "Grand" size which is designed for ages 9-36 months. Most of our house has laminate floors, so the Dockatot gives him a cushioned spot to play. The Grand is also helpful in transitioning from crib to "big boy bed". Yet, another "mom fear" - rolling out of the bed in the middle of the night.

As a girl with Scandanavian roots, I appreciate the simplistic Swedish design and versatility of the Dockatot. I'm all about multifunctional items!

Get $5 OFF using this affiliate link.

2. Finn + Emma

Finn + Emma produces garments made with GOTS certified cotton and non-toxic, eco-friendly dyes. I like that Remi's shirt has a modern design, but it's also safe for his sensitive skin. 

I'm a sucker for wooden toys. Finn + Emma's wooden toys are made from untreated Indian hardwood, finished with vegetable seed wax and filled with little beans. The totem pole design reminds me of my vacations out in British Columbia; it's a toy for Remi, and a memory for me.

Enjoy 15% off using this affiliate link.

3. Milestone Baby Photo Cards

Milestone Cards make it easy for me to document Remi's big moments. He's my second baby...and I'll be honest...sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with documenting his first year. These photo cards simplify it for me. All I have to do is place the Milestone Card next him and take a photo. I can even upload the photo to IG and print them in a photo book later on. Easy-peasy!

4. Lorena Canals Rugs

Loren Canals Rugs have made my mom life just a little bit easier. Their rugs and cushions are handmade, all natural and MACHINE WASHABLE. With two small kids in the house, things get dirty - fast. I no longer have to fear light coloured rugs, the kids can play on it, eat on it and then I can just throw it into the wash. One less thing that they can destroy.

Have a question about one of the products featured in this post? Leave me a comment, I'd be happy to help you navigate the daunting world of baby products.

1. Dockatot | Grand Dock | Pristine White, $5 OFF using this affiliate link

2. Finn + Emma | Short Bodysuit | Anchor, Wooden Teething Rattle | Totem Pole, 15% OFF using this affiliate link

3. Milestone Baby Photo Cards | Limited Edition

4. Lorena Canals Rugs | Lace Beige

Photography | Jessica Rediker

Disclosure: All items were gifted to me in exchange for an honest review. The words expressed in this blog post are mine, and mine alone. 

From Baby to Little Girl

When we found out we were having Averie, I felt so blessed. I had been praying and hoping that one day I could experience those mother-daughter bonding moments with my own daughter. I couldn't wait to buy her all those cute, little, mini-me clothes, braid her hair, have mother-daughter dates and enjoy little cuddle moments with her. 

Averie will be three in a couple of weeks, and I can't believe that time has gone by this quickly. This little baby of mine has grown into a little girl before my eyes. She's beautiful, goofy and, at times, sassy. She loves to play rough - pillow fights, pushing, wrestling and climbing - but she's also a little mama. She will cuddle her dolls and animals, feed them, sing to them, and tuck them into bed. She's my little tender-heart. If she feels concerned, she will ask you - in her sweet little voice, "What's wrong? Don't be sad.".

Happy birthday my little flower pixie! Let's enjoy this next year together before you're off to school (I can't think about it).

To celebrate my baby blossoming into a little girl, we had a floral themed photo shoot. This too was a mother-daughter activity that was on my prenatal wish list before Averie was born. 

Post in collaboration with Julie's Elegant Crafts (floral crowns)

Photography | Jessica Rediker

 

Finding A Blance

It's hard to believe that I am more than halfway through my maternity leave. Time has gone by even quicker the second time around. Now that I have two kids at home, I find myself jumping from one thing to the next. I feed one, then the other one wants food; just when I finish cleaning one mess, another one is made; when one is napping, the other wakes up; it's all a new set of challenges. But those challenges have given me a new set of skills. I've said it before, but it's true, becoming a mother has shown me that I'm capable of so much more than I thought I was. I'm getting so good at this mom gig that I can take care of the kids, clean the house AND still find some time for my hobbies (sometimes). To me, that is a major win. 

Since (finally) feeling like I'm getting into the groove of parenting, I've felt so much more alive. I am able to play with my kids (without distraction) and feel like I have so much more to offer them. I've also found that my patience and grace can stretch farther when I've been able to achieve a good family-time/me-time balance. 

I found that I was able to feel more balanced when I changed my attitude and outlook on life. Easier said than done - I know. It's been a process to change old mindsets, it's something I have to continually work on. But I have been able to see the fruit of it in the way I interact with my family and in managing my stress levels. Here are some tips that have helped me get out of my grumpy funk and stay positive:

- Get enough sleep. I know that this isn't always possible, especially depending on what age your kids are. My suggestions is, be wise with how you manage your time. It's so tempting (and easy) to spend countless hours watching Netflix once the kids have (finally) gone to bed. Instead, set a time limit and get to bed at a normal hour. You'll feel better in the morning and your kids will thank you. No one wants to deal with a grumpy mama bear.

- Do things for yourself that bring you LIFE. When you do find time for yourself, take a break from binge watching your favourite show and do something that makes you feel good (ex. make a craft, do a workout, hang out with some fiends, read a book, take a bath). I find that TV can be entertaining, but when I've spent countless hours watching it I tend to feel a bit like zombie. In the end, I didn't really achieve much except for some blood shot eyes.

- Find something to be thankful for everyday. I read a quote one day and it stuck with me, "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day". Find that "something good" in your day. Life can get crazy, but as I remind myself to think positively on a daily basis, it becomes easier to adopt a positive mindset.

If you're finding mom life overwhelming, I hope that these simple tips can help you feel a bit more grounded. On another note, if you've got some other tips that have helped you find some balance in your life - please share! 

Photos | Jessica Rediker

Joy Looks Different Now

Photos | Jessica Rediker

We recently took the kids back to our old stomping grounds, Kitchener. After we got married, we moved into the sweetest apartment, downtown Kitchener. It was an old brick factory that had been converted into an apartment building. It was the best apartment we could have asked for. We had a lot of great memories in that place. It blows my mind to think of all the changes that have taken place in our lives since we lived there. We were married, we spent time traveling, we bought our first house, had two kids, changed jobs - even our relationship has changed in so many ways.

Having kids has challenged me beyond what I could have imagined. Becoming a mother has taught me a lot about myself - I've discovered that I'm capable of so much more than I thought I was. From going through months of pregnancy, through the physical challenges of delivery, and now, the humbling task of putting my needs second (DAILY). My body isn't the same; a fact that I work through everyday. My time is not my own; I am focused on these two precious ones, helping them learn, discover and grow into beautiful, loving humans. My relationship with Jesse has changed; we continue to learn more about each other as we to stand together as parents. 

Each day presents a new set of joys and challenges. Some days are harder than others. Through it all, I am realizing that I can't allow my perspective to be shaped by my emotions.  Sometimes, joy starts with a DECISION to be grateful and then waiting for the circumstances to catch up with my decision, instead of waiting for the perfect circumstances to choose gratitude. 

What's in my Diaper Bag

Photos | Jessica Rediker

First off, let me say, that I'm not a fan of diaper bags. If I could, I would carry as little as possible with me - enough to fit in a small purse. I'm talking; diapers, wipes, done! But I haven't yet figured out how to get to that point. So, here's what I've been carrying around with me (along with two kids).

1. The Bag

I love the practicality of actual diaper bags; all the pockets, holders and special compartments. But I find it difficult to find a style of diaper bag that I love at a price point that I equally love. Instead, I've been using bags or purses that are large enough to hold what I need. This one (in photo), I found on clearance at H&M. 

Sure, you might wonder what my husband thinks about carrying around a somewhat feminine diaper bag. My husband and I have had that discussion, but in the end, we came to the conclusion that I'm the one who carries the "stuff" around 99% of the time - so it became a non-issue.

2. Diapers & Wipes (of course)

I make sure not to pack too many diapers. I try to bring only as many as I'll need for the day. 

3. Small Blanket

When I'm out with the kids, I don't always know where we'll end up or what the weather will be. Sometimes it can be really hot outside, but if we got into the mall, it can be freezing. There's so many ways to use a blanket: for shade from the sun (while in the stroller), emergency burp cloth, or for the baby to lay in the grass. You can't go wrong with packing a small blanket. 

4. Sippy Cup

My two-year old is ALWAYS thirsty. Especially in the heat we've been experiencing, it pays to have a sippy cup with us.

5. Snacks

On occasion, when I'm at the store or an appointment and Averie is close to losing it, snacks have been my saviour. Being hangry is a real thing for toddlers. To avoid being stranded without any food, I always try to take some little treats along with me. It could be fruit snacks, granola bars, raisins, fruit, or crackers. I try not to pack anything too messy but small enough that she can hold it herself. 

6. Activities or Toys

It's a fact that kids can only last so long in a stroller, a car, or when asked to sit still. It definitely doesn't hurt to have some tricks up your sleeve to entertain them. I have a small toy clipped onto Remi's car seat for times when he needs a distraction. For Averie, I bring crayons and a colouring book or some stories to read, depending on where we're going. I've also found that those small bottles of bubbles, that you sometimes get at weddings, are great to throw in your bag. They're compact and create a minimal mess if spilt.

7. My Stuff

Of course mama has to bring some of HER stuff too. Out of all the many kids things I carry around, I still like to bring some of my things. I usually have some lipstick or lip balm, hair ties and pins (you never know when you'll need to transition to "mom bun"), and hand sanitizer. To prevent my things from getting scattered all over the bag, I keep it all in a nice, little, zippered purse. Having all my things in one location also makes it easy to grab and go - should I get a moment to myself. 

Mom-to-mom, what are some of your diaper bag 'must haves'?